New Things

I was never a winter-lover. When I was young, I never minded a little bit of snow, especially because coming inside meant I could enjoy hot chocolate or tea. At some point in high school, things changed for me. Perhaps it was experiencing 2 traumatic events within 3 weeks in Dec/Jan. Perhaps it was just an inevitable seasonal affect disorder. Perhaps it was something else. It doesn’t really matter to me why it happened, it did. It gripped me one year in high school and 2 years in college and I dealt with it. In college, I sought a lot of help and in many ways it was beneficial but in many ways it was a waste of time and in the end, spring comes and I start to feel AMAZING. I really am a girl who falls in love with everyone an everything in the spring.

So this winter, my first in Boston, has been historic. Boston has really experienced unbelievable snowfall and cold temperatures relentlessly since the end of January. I think this NYT piece really sums up what has been happening up here.. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/20/opinion/bostons-winter-from-hell.html?_r=0

I’ve been trying very hard to be positive through the snow. I run outside a lot, 5x a week! I try to get out and see friends a few nights a week (as much as grad school workload will allow). I walk my dog and enjoy training her. I have recently been getting to trails once a week. And still, this winter has been really hard on me. My history of depression has given me some insight into knowing what it is coming, both a blessing and a curse.

I have felt in many ways supported and unsupported. I am often overwhelmed with the Boston University workload trifecta of heavy classes, teaching, and research. The stresses of that, coupled with incipient depression, have made being in a long distance relationship very difficult for me. Maybe I didn’t express it properly, or thoroughly, but I feel very alone in my own mental struggles. I know I need some life changes and I’m working on them, but when I am in a relationship I need to feel the encouraging support. Maybe it is needy of me, maybe I am a little dependent during this time of year, but I am also very scared. Depression is scary. I don’t want to be graphic or emotional in this post but it is terrifying to feel and to remember feeling. Anyway, all of this is 10000x worse when I feel emptiness and anger from one of the only people I can turn to who I also had hoped would support me. This has been heavy on my heart.

I don’t believe in ‘fate’ or ‘signs’ or the like. I am not a believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’. I am not religious nor do I think there is some greater being that is responsible for.. well… everything or even anything. On a smaller note, while I don’t believe in signs, this morning I wish I did. I woke up to a beautiful Cooper’s Hawk on the tree outside my apartment window. When I went out with my dog, it had flown across to another tree and ate her kill there. A solo hunter, powerful, beautiful, and surviving. Man, I wish I believed it was a sign!

Today, I got out in the woods. I went without other people, just with Sky girl, and decided to try something new– Snowshoes! Showshoes were a first for me. I had ordered a pair of Atlas 8 Series from REI but they haven’t arrived yet, so my friend Sarah let me borrow hers for this weekend. I have Atlas poles that arrived mid week, so with shoes, poles, and dog– I was ready to try something new!

I wasn’t sure what to bring, or how long I would stay out there, or if I would be able to run or just walk, and what Sky would need. Here you can see a majority of what I brought. Trail shoes to bind to the snowshoes, pack with 1 L bladder, Gatorade for after, 2 pair gloves, collapsable dog bowl, peanuts, dog treats, & Buff. Not pictured are my poles, and my attire– short sleeve underarmour base layer, running sweatshirt, columbia vest, and my mountain hardware coat. On my legs I wore just nike running tights. On my feet just a pair of wool SmartWool hiking socks.

I ended up moving well on the trails with the snowshoes! I could even run at a 10min/mile pace and could probably do better. The trails at the fells were well packed down, many runners with just microspikess (as I had done last weekend). Running was clumsy but I think that is just because I am unexperienced at it but I did get much better as I tried. I didn’t push the running thing though because they are not my snowshoes and they get a little scuffed during running.

What I did learn was that poles are amazing. They are really helped me keep my balance and let me shift the pressure away from my calves and thighs while trekking up or downhill. They were heavy and cumbersome during the flats but I think they are worth it. My poles don’t fold up to be super small, so I wouldn’t be able to stow them easily (at least not in my little pack) but I didn’t mind carrying them.

I definitely did NOT need my winter coat. I also didn’t need my buff. I barely needed my gloves. Snowshoeing is a workout and the weather today wasn’t extraordinarily cold. I was easily kept warm.

On a side note: I was at the same trails during the same time last week and ended up seeing the same people with the same dogs at the same part of the trails! Just something I noticed, and Sky noticed as well. Hopefully we will work more on off leash training so she can wander with a bit more freedom. She would love losing the leash and I would not have to worry about her pulling me awkwardly and breaking my ankle.

I know I have been down a lot lately, but getting out is really helpful. I love my dog and I think I really enjoy spending time alone. When I’m completely alone, I don’t have to even think about anyone else. Or even care. I just exist–it is me, and the woods. One day, I will go out for further and longer, and then I will be able to discover more about myself and find my inner peace. It’s not that I don’t love myself, I just don’t all the time. But in the woods, I do.

Valentine’s Day 10 Miler

It is snowing again. This weekend we are getting substantial snowfall and that is frustrating for my trail running heart! I also needed a good reason to move my car around to make sure it still works (and to use the ‘chair’ method of parking spot saving, which I have a fear of doing).

Sky girl in the car. “What are we doing, mom???”

Today, for the first time in a few weeks, I finally got out to test out the trails. Word on the street was that the snowshoers and CC skiers have done marvelous packing of the snow on the trails at the Middlesex Fells! Well, I didn’t really know what to expect. A few friends had mentioned letting them know if I were going but I wasn’t sure how the trails would be or even how my legs would be (I had an increase in miles this week and was certainly feeling it). So I packed up my #1 best Valentine–Sky girl– and headed to the Long’s Pond to see what was going on out there.

I brought a pack and microspikes.. wore both the entire time. The trails were wonderful! There was about a yard width or more of packed snow that was mostly runnable, although sometimes it got dangerous. Occasionally, if running too close to the edge, I would sink through until the snow was mid-thigh. That is what I call good ankle breaking conditions.

So there were a lot of points where I had to slow down or even hike because I was either tired or afraid of breaking my ankle or just had to break trail myself and thus couldn’t run on pre-packed white goodness. Anyway, I’m really happy I got out. This winter has been really upsetting to me for a number of reasons, all of which are not worth mentioning. Running has been really great at keeping me sane and I really missed getting on trails. I think, today, I will shop online for snowshoes that are good for runners. This way I will not have to wait for the rest of the greater Boston area to get out and pack down my trails,but I will be able to do it on my own!

Sky is the devil (at the watchtower)

Obligatory trail selfie

How to Have a Successful Run Commute

So I live in Boston, where the snow is wicked crazy right now. I mean we have gotten 75 inches of snow in 30 days… less than 30 days even! Let’s face it, there is more on the way.

Despite some closures and delays, the world doesn’t just stop because of large piles of snow blocking the way. Work and school still happens, and as a result, I still have to get to BU.

After one of the large storms, I recall vividly waiting for my beloved 57 bus. It stops at the end of my street and goes directly to BU on it’s way to Kenmore. I waited for ~20 minutes, and then a full bus crests around the bend! Such joy emanates from my face along with the 4 others at the stop– but alas that joy is soon replaced with sheer agony as the bus, full like sardines, cruises right by without stopping. Next thing I know, there are 10+ people at my stop and 2 other full busses have passed. I’ve been waiting for a bus for an hour.. once one stops it becomes a battle to get a spot on the bus before the driver decides it is too full and turns us back into the cold. Soon the bus environment turns hostile, lawless even! People shoving and shouting to get a spot on a bus, no lines, no order! Luckily my childhood growing up in New Jersey has prepared me for such an “end of the world” scenario but nonetheless, it is far from ideal.

As much as I love the MBTA, during the winter is it a nightmare. Trains & busses become horrifically unreliable. Many people walk instead. I would walk, I live approximately 3 miles door to door from my office. However, I am not a walker by nature– I am a runner! Thus, I have begun to perfect the ‘run commute’.

How can I run commute? Well first, you should think about your work week and plan ahead. For me, as a student with an office and computer at work, I don’t really need to carry much to the office so a run commute becomes very easy. In the past, I have left a spare change of clothes in my office so I can change when I get in. It is also a good idea to leave a real coat or something warm in your office as well, as you don’t typically run with a large, heavy coat (or maybe you do, I don’t judge!)

So planning ahead is essential. Do you need to carry textbooks, binders, large files, computers, animals, vegetables, heavy equipment? If yes, then maybe that is not the best day to run commute!

How can I plan my run? This is important. Just like going for recreational runs, we know that not all roads are safe to run on. A run commute should be no different. In fact, I would take extra care in picking a runner-safe route, because morning commuting drivers may not be the most forgiving. I do my run commute in Boston approaching Kenmore Square. Running on Brighton Ave and Comm Ave is an adventure. Drivers will hate you for crossing when they want to turn, bikers will destroy you for entering their lane (and typically rightly so), and pedestrians will not share the sidewalk, especially during snowy conditions and will scoff angrily in Bostonian fashion when you politely say “excuse me!” to get around them. Yes– the run commute is not really any friendlier than the public transit or drive, but at least you are running.

What should I wear/bring? Well. Like always, clothes. Dress for the weather and be prepared in case you have to stop for some reason. My run commute is only 3 miles each direction so I don’t need to bring water or anything, which is great.  Boston lately has been particularly nasty– in fact, these were the conditions of my run this morning:

Not uncommon to also add snow to that as well. Thus, I wear running leggings, a long sleeve shirt, a thicker long sleeve top, a vest (essential!), gloves, and a buff. I also wear a runner pack instead of a large backpack, but obviously not all run commutes will need this. Some may require no pack and others may require a large and more stable bag for bigger things (like a laptop).

Nathan Intensity vest (for her), just remove the bladder and you have so much room for activities!

These are all the things I manage to fit in my pack. A rolled up shirt, rolled up jeans, keys, lotion & makeup, cell phone (not pictured), hand towel (not pictured), and occasionally an apple (not pictured). A change of underwear can also fit if you so choose to. I also bring with me credit cards, ID, money, and my CharlieCard (in case I get injured and need to take that 57 back home).

I wear a Columbia nano puff vest while running. It keeps me insanely (dare I say overly) warm during the run itself but I think it is also a great piece of transitional wear. After I change into my work/casual clothes, I do not have a coat lying around to stay warm and the vest works great. It transcends the run-work attire barrier! Basically, buying one would be a great investment.. har har har.

One last thing to think about is your shoes. I haven’t worn my road shoes on the road since snowfall. Sidewalks are slipperly little death traps and I have been wearing my trail shoes instead. They provide just a little bit of extra traction that helps keep me focused during these runs.

So final question. Why try a run commute? Sure, during these runs, you are probably not going to be training hard or breaking any personal speed records. Sure, you might have to wake up and go in the cold and do all this before you breakfast or coffee. Sure, you may get a bit sweaty and feel a bit uncomfortable at work. But there are so many benefits as well! First of all, who wants to wait in the cold for a bus, then wait on the bus for 3x the typical commute during this shitty weather? It typically takes me an average of 20 minutes to ride the bus from my street to work, and it takes me 25-28 minutes running time to make the same commute. Not only have I recently been making better time, but I also get some miles in. Double win if you ask me. Plus, doing the morning run thing means 1. I feel awake and refreshed when I get to work instead of groggy and still quite tired. and 2. I have been getting some fasted-cardio miles in, which I would never just wake up and do unless I had to (such as for a commute). and 3. Your coworkers/friends/boss/advisor/random people you pass/everyone on the T will think you are hopelessly BADASS for saying “hey, screw you!” to the cold Boston winter. And you should also think that you are a badass, because you are.

Get bored running the same route every morning? I know I am starting to… to help combat that I have been listening to podcasts but not with both earbuds in at the same time. I stress that I keep one ear out because the run commute can be dangerous with lots of other cars/bikes/busses/train/angry pedestrians hanging about. You should divide your focus between the physical task at hand and the podcast that you are listening to!

Another tactic that I find fun is counting the amount of 57s that I pass on my way in. So far the record is 3 packed 57 busses, where I would otherwise be stuck on if I weren’t inclined to run to work! That not only is a nice way to decide how many beers to drink that night but it’s also a great reminder of why you are doing the run commute!

But Tess, don’t you look tired and ugly when you get to work after the run commute?? Hmm… I sometimes think so but I don’t sprint, I take it slow (so I don’t sweat too too much) and I clean up once I get in. So you tell me–how do I look?

The answer is HAPPY.